Inflatable Sheep

My landline has been hijacked by telemarketers since about 2002 after a particularly nasty go-round with a telemarketer who just would not quit. The back and forth got pretty heated between her and my husband during several back-to-back calls. During the various conversations, she gave us her business address which later we drove by…and surprise, no business at that location.

This particularly hateful telemarketer harrassed us with repeated calls whenever she was on duty. And that was when we quit answering our phone and begin screening all callers.

Our friends and family were understanding and knew the drill to go ahead and say, “Are you there? Are you there?” whenever our answering machine began its recording. They knew we'd pick up if we were there.

We put our number on the Do Not Call list and waited as the telemarketers still kept calling.

On a deep level this just chapped my hide. Dang it, I pay for my phone. I'd like to pick it up when it rings. So, three years later, we move from Sunnyvale to Santa Clara. We get a new landline number. It was nice for about a half a minute and then the telemarketers began again.

I had run across this link a few weeks back: Anti-telemarketing script. I printed it out and kept it by the phone. I didn't use it until yesterday because, quite frankly, I just didn't want to deal with them.

Maybe it was that wild hair that crawled up my ass or something, but yesterday when Unknown Name Unkown Number rang me up, I answered. Brian started his spiel. Imagine that, my phone number had been entered in a drawing and I won.

Before I let him get any further along, I asked him if he was trying to sell me something. No, I'm a winner. Well then, what is your name? It took him a minute, but he came up with Brian Jones.

Brian started to continue his spiel. Wait, I need to know what company you represent. He said, Global Exchange, and almost began again.

Wait, I said, I need your phone number. Brian said he'd give it to me at the end of our conversation. I said, no, give it to me now or we're not having a conversation.

He said, good day ma'am, and hung up.

Well, that was fairly painless, I thought.

Today Unknown Name Unknown Number called again. I got out my script. This time is was Harry Brown from Global Exchange. He did his dance. I did my dance. When we got to the phone number part, he asked me if I was on the Do Not Call List. I said yes, I was, and what was your phone number? Harry, dear heart, backed out and said he'd make sure they wouldn't call again.

Right.

I popped right overto the FCC's website to see how to complain. Simple.

You can file a complaint by e-mail (fccinfo@fcc.gov), telephone 1-888-CALL-FCC (1-888-225-5322) voice or 1-888-TELL-FCC (1-888-835-5322) TTY, by fax to 1-866-418-0232, via our electronic complaint form at www.fcc.gov/cgb/complaints.html, or mail.

I think I'm going to start answering my phone again. That felt good.