Inflatable Sheep

1983 now in my diary project. I've moved to Milpitas, California and have managed to stay put for three years. Even more miraculous is that I'm still with the same person, John—whom I followed from Arkansas to California, during that time.

Even better is the fact that within two years I've gone from working in Little Rock, AR at Pizza Hut as a waitress / cook to working in San Jose, CA at a semiconductor company—Fairchild's—as a computer operator. For the first time in my life, my job is engaging and promises a future.

However, no longer running faster than I can take life in, all the Stuff I should have resolved way back now comes to the front and I begin to fracture from the inside out. I've been in therapy for six weeks and wonder how much longer I'll be depressed. No easy fixes are in store for me. And I'm sincerely glad I didn't know how much longer it would take (another fourteen years).

I worried when I first began this project about if it would make me unbearably sad resurrecting the past. So far, not. I'm experiencing a compassion for the younger Michelle which enables me to cut the older Michelle some slack now for not having achieved perfection yet.