Dicktator
"Core out a potato and stick your dick in it. Now you are the world ruler, or as we say THE DICKTATOR!"
—Kinky Kay

Chia Penis
"Water your chia penis and watch him grow."
—Marc B., Honorary Hole

"How about Chia Weenie or Peenie Green? Green food coloring should make it look like grass."
—Robert I., Honorary Hole

Balloon Penis
"For this to work, a man has to be uncurcumcised. I pull all his foreskin to the top and then blow up the skin like a balloon. Then let the air out of it like a whoopee cushion; makes some strange noises."
—Jo

"First you pull the foreskin up above the head, gather it, and hold it with your fingers. Then blow it up, and hold in the air. It feels really neat. If you push it, it makes a 'popping' noise."
—Shmad, Honorary Hole

Gear Shift Penis
"Sports Car Penis Trick. Penis must be in a semi erect state, put palm of hand over the head of the penis and start to downshift. I like doing a 4-speed myself. And of course, making little varrroooooommm noises is a must. Remember to drive safely."
—Catcando2, Honorary Hole

"Pretend it's a stickshift and drive"
—Tango80, Honorary Hole

"Driving Lessons. If you happen to be right beside your man and wish to brush up on your manual shift skills, simply grab his stick shift and go town! From first gear to highway cruising to backing him in! Just don't let him idle too long or he'll stall on you!"
—Jeffy., Honorary Hole

"I use my boyfriend's penis as a make-shift gear shift. It is how I practiced shifting gears when I learned to drive."
—VLH

"Try Downshifting With That Thang. When he's sitting in the passenger seat and I'm driving my 5-speed car, I take it out and shift through the rest of the gears...6th, 7th, 8th, making gear-grinding noises and pretending to rev the engine. Then, of course, at every stoplight you need to downshift!"
—Ahart

"When my boyfriend and I are just relaxing, he'll whip his penis out for 'comfort'. Ususally I can't stand not to play with it. So, if we're watching TV and a car commercial comes on, I'll pretend his penis is a joystick, and make the motions and all the noise of a speeding car. Also fun to practice stick shift. Drives them wild."
—Michael, Honorary Hole