Popcorn Surprise
While at the show, cut a hole in the bottom of a box of popcorn and let Sneaky Pete hide amongst the popcorn. When your lover reaches for more...TA Da...Popcorn Surprise!

Ghostly Penis
Great trick for Halloween. Throw a sheet over his willy, cut out little eye-holes, and then let him come knocking. Will that be a trick or a treat?

Penis Cocktail
Hungry for a little seafood? Whether yours is a shrimp or a jumbo shrimp, try Mama Heartless's Penis Cocktail. A little sauce, a squirt or two of lemon, a twig of parseley. Mmmmmm, good.

Reindeer Penis
Spread the Christmas cheer around. Dress your love monkey up in little antlers, a string of lights, and a few carefully placed ornaments. Will put the ho-ho-ho into any Scrooge.

Make It Dance
That's right. I just pinch up it's little head, put some music on and let Mr. Bojangles jangle. It's a little like chair dancing. I like a mambo beat myself. I can eat chips and Velveeta with Rotel during the performance. A little classical music and you have your own ballet. A bit of white netting around the pubic hair—a ballerina; a white condom—a ballerino!