Sweet Penis
"If the penis has excellent spring-back capacity, put a piece of candy, such as a Lifesaver or M&M on his stomach, pull back on the penis and let-ter-rip. It will swipe the candy right up especially if you have already slobbered on the hog. Then, eat the sweets."
—Jamie G.

The Pentriloquist
"A stupid penis trick that most men will find extremely funny at first, but then it becomes really disconcerting to them for reasons unknown. It ties in with the dancing thing—make it talk to them as you animate it in its limp state. Make it say really stupid things. Watch amusement turn to horror in a few short moments."
—Airyn D.

The Penis vs. The Ring O' Pineapple
"Take some canned ring pineapple, and put a ring of it around his limp penis. As he gets erect, watch the pineapple break!!"
—Jujubee

Where's the Beach?
"I take mine and put sunglasses on it. Then walk around the house, 'Where's the beach?'"
—Kelly B., Honorary Hole