Bassapenis
Is he such a good puppy? Just paint a few spots on his root-o-rama, attach little doggy ears and tail, and voila, you got your basic Bassapenis. Of course, I'm partial to bassett hounds. You might want to try a dachshund and give a whole new meaning to the term "weiner dog." Oh god, just envisioning a poodle penis!

Flower Power
Don't wait for spring, do this one now. Attach flower petals around the head of your Trouser Browser. Place in the center of a bouquet of flowers and present to your lover.

Cocktail Penis
A toast, and what could make it better than to have your own swizzle stick. Simply hold out your glass to your favorite Cocktail Weinie and say, stir please, sir. Olives optional.

Ruler Penis
Yes, we're practicing Men's Math here, and that's an easy trick. A few lines, a few numbers on your lap lizard, and voila! A penis that rules.

Mistletoe Penis
Tie a ribbon with a sprig of mistletoe around Mr. Happy. Guaranteed to get you ho-ho-ho'd.