S t u p i d   P e n i s  T r i c k s

Tricks you too can do with Mr. Happy. All you need is access to a penis and an active, playful imagination. See the SPT Hall O ' Fame for award winning tricks. Men secure in their penises might find these tricks amusing. But, for all the others let me just say, "Hey, lighten up, it's only a penis."

It's a dangerous combination when you mix a Stupid Penis Trick with an animated gif, but that's just what happens at the Animated SPT Gallery. Take one home, put it on your personal homepage, let the world know that yes, you do Stupid Penis Tricks too.

F u n   S t u f f !

If you want your Stupid Penis Tricks all year round, you'll be needing your very own Tzilla, The T-Shirt. Also, straight from the Heartless Art Collection comes art on a tee: The RedHead T.

S h e - R o t i c a

Stories with her in mind. Check out Anne Seman's The Perfect Fit, a Cinderella story with a twist.

P o i n t l e s s   P a r o d i e s

Taming The Wild Penis. Can it be done? Should it be done? And you thought the Discovery Channel was wild.

The Red Lamp. A picture story from Houdi and Hearti.

S m o k i n '   H o t t i e s:   L u s t   H e r   W a y

I've been searchin' for smoke for a long time. If I had free reign (I like that word) to do my own porn video, here's where I'd begin.

N o t   N a k e d   M e n

Your oasis in the middle Web. Here is one for each day of the week. This month features those Fab Abs. Hep me, mama, I've got one of those permanent grins.

P e a r l s

Featuring "When A Blowjob Becomes A Job", "Muff Divers of the World", and the ever-popular "Hats Off To Cocksuckers".

P e n i s   F o r   A  D a y

Okay, Ladies, if you had a penis for 24 hours, what would you do with that bad boy?

T h e   H o l e y   V a u l t

Stripped of email where they can't talk back, here's where I keep all the little darling webpages that I just can't bear to part with. You can no longer get your Dear Heartless Head-On Advice, but you can still ready the snappy repartee.

T h e   B i g    O

Come see who has given me a really big O, or at least made me breathe hard, by mentioning Heartless's Holey Haven.

S m o k i n '   L i n k s

You think you know someone by their links? Mu-haha!

T h e   H o l e   P i c t u r e

For those who just have to look in every little nook and cranny.

  © 1995-2004 by
  L. Michelle Johnson