MONDAY, JANUARY 19, 1998
I finished Temping For Dollars today. I've also put in a few oldie goldies (journal entries from previous temp assignments). I'm finding it really hard to find time to update my pages. I asked one person how they managed to work and update their pages every day. Oh no, not less sleep! I said you need time to dream. He said he was living his dream. Hmmmmm. . .
THURSDAY, JANUARY 8, 1998
Yes, the search for work continues. Tomorrow I get to stuff envelopes at Apple for four hours. Hey, it's work and it's at Apple. And then I get to go for an interview as a Recptionist/Junior Admin. Am I excited? Well, all this goes towards my Temping For Dollars section that will go up soon. I jumped through more hoops at another temp agency today, so you know I got more fodder. My fingers actually touched Windows 95. I feel so cheap. Don't worry, I washed thoroughly.
I added a new shining light to fem • mass today: Jackie Ting, a Chinese woman who lived in Australia and now lives in Malaysia and writes about the transition. Fascinating reading.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 7, 1998
I hate looking for jobs. A friend loaned me his truck so at least I don't have to go to interviews by bus which would really suck. I thought okay, I'll get a web-related job. So, I look online for webpage production. I'm willing to start small. I check out the ones in this area. Three of them. One I don't get past the receptionist. Two tells me everything that was wrong with my resume. Thank you. Three they'll call me back in two or three weeks.
So, in the meantime, rent's due in three weeks and today I decided to bite the bullet and find a secretarial temp job. Fortunately I have almost 20 years of secretarial experience, can type, computer literate, can take dictation (yeah, I'm one of those), highly anal, er...organized, blah blah blah. My test at the temp agency was "How Well Do You Know The Mac". Mu-hahaha! They already had my typing, filing, math test (all excellent scores) from seven years ago so I didn't have to re-jump those hoops.
I decided to put my rough transition back into the work world to good use and create a new section, Temping For Dollars. It will be my observations of my various temp assignments. As a temp, I get a unique perspective of various companies. Like, comparing their breakrooms. Or what freebies they give employees (doughnuts, soft drinks, popcorn, pizza on Fridays).
FRIDAY, JANUARY 2, 1998
Hope '98 finds everyone fat and sassy. So many odds and ends...let's see. The SPT Testing Committee and I got together and voila, three new entries into the Stupid Penis Tricks Hall O' Fame. The new Weiner is: Frosty The Penis Honorable Mentions are: Ring Toss Penis and Einstein Penis (proving for once and for all that not all penis tricks are necessarily stupid).
And, of course, that brings me to January's SPT Contest. What could possibly be a better way to begin your new year? Make that resolution now: I will create the best stupid penis trick ever in 1998! Then enter it into the contest. Hey, weiners get a FREE 1998 Stupid Penis Trick Calendar of their very own.
As "Taps" plays in the background, let's have a few moments of silence as Penis For A Day and Dear Heartless Advice goes to join Bettie at the Web Page Retirement Home. Okay. Onward and Upward.
Oh, mama mia, just got through refreshing my Not Naked Men. Yes, one for each day of the week. Included a couple of soap dishes. And the theme this month is JEANS.
And if you were a Heartless Hole, you'd already know all this. Say the magic word.
I will be looking for work on Monday. Wish me luck!
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1997
Yes, I've been knee-deep in Michelles all day and loving it. Here are the Michelles added to Michelles Of The Web: Michelle Danner, Michelle Mensinger, Michelle Spalding, Michelle Zancanaro, Michelle Cary, Michelle Kennedy, and Michelle Bennett. And another poor Michelle who doesn't spell her name right: Michele Belanger.
And as if that wasn't enough, I had a double-header too! Michele Riley was added to fem • mass and to Michelles Who Don't Spell Their Name Right. Also, another Michelle, Michelle Morin--a Michelle who does spell her name right, has joined fem • mass too.
To top it all off, I got some new contributions from various Grounded Eagles (or Michelles Not On The Web). Check out the new Michelle stories from Michelle Power, Mychelle Szarka-Cruise, Michele McDonald, Michele Flynn, and Michelle Dorado via her grandmother, Sandie Huffstutler.
As of today, 5:14 p.m., all my Michelle links work! Yes, all polished, and deadbrush removed. Nothing but pure uninterrupted Michelle. I leave you with a few new Michelle-isms:
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked Michelle.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your Michelle louder.
I don't suffer from Michelle, I enjoy every minute of it.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 27, 1997
I've been playing catch-up on my emails and webpage updates. I am pleased to present seven new shining lights to fem • mass: Jennifer Adair, Cynthia Armistead, Cledbo, Helen Miller, Cheryl Thompson, Jessamyn West, and Susan aka White One. Yes, everything from a Smurfie Girl to a TechnoMom to an expatriate living in Korea. And remember that woman you saw at work with the back of her dress caught in her pantyhose. Well, she's here too.
I've spent the past couple of days polishing all the fem • mass links so that everything is in it's place and every place is in it's thing for New Years. Or something like that. Now, on to My Michelles!
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1997
FINALLY! I've been slaving away over a hot computer all month just to be able to bring you The Art Of The Personal Homepage by Christmas. Yes, I got your ho ho ho right here baby. See the results of my questionnaire, see how many personal homepage there are on the Web by my estimation, see all the great advice from women who have been around the Web-block a time or two, see what I mean when I say Web Artist, see what the best and worst things are about having a personal homepage, see how you can bust those roadblocks to self-expression, see how to put the heart into your personal homepage . . . well, I could go on, but stop by my new pages and tell me what you think.
Well, I just updated my Table Of Contents and I now have a grand total of 187 webpages. Yea!!!
Time to take a short break and go chase the my favorite boy-toy around the Christmas tree. Y'all have a good Christmas!
MONDAY, DECEMBER 1, 1997
So many webpages to update, so little time! Have been working my little butt off this weekend. The Winners and Honorable Mentions have been decided for November's Stupid Penis Tricks Contest. Check it out in the SPT Hall O' Fame!
December's SPT Contest begins today. Get that winning entry in today and win your 1998 SPT Calendar to start off the new year right.
If you've already said HOLE, then you know that the first Heartless Hole update was today. If you haven't said HOLE yet, better do so now.
The last entries have been made today in Penis For A Day. Better catch them before they move to theWebpage Retirement Home.
Get your fresh Not Naked Men now. Yes, I count chairs and bubbles as articles of clothing.
Hep me mama, I'm outta here!
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1997
Happy Thanksgiving! If you can't be with the ones you love, I hope you are safe, warm, and have a full stomach. What am I thankful for besides the ones I love, a place to live, my health, their health, and enough to eat? My MAC. My pages wouldn't be the same without my Mac. Here's an interesting link about the world without Macs.
Updated my Muchas Gracias page. Thanks for the Eye Candy Site Award and the Hour Glass Award!
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1997
I've been slaving away on my new project, The Art Of The Personal Homepage. Personal Homepages, the red-headed stepchild of the web. Academics call us pitiful, commercial sites call us the masses, market researchers don't even consider us part of the mix - despite facts like Geocities just had their one millionth homepage started. No, all we're good for is as a source for extracting email addresses so we can be SPAMMED right back. In 1995 I was afraid commercial sites would run us personal homepages right over, but guess what? New figures show that commercial sites have slowed in growth, but guess what hasn't slowed down? The growth of new personal homepages!!! Stay tuned for more.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1997
You've heard of Hidden Mickeys, well here's my Hidden Betties. Yes, I've been busy planting pictures of My Favorite Smokin' Hottie, Bettie Page throughout my webpages. Follow the Bettie Page Road. Oh my!
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1997
Been up to no good today. Mu-hahaha! Filling out my Smokin' Hottiesarea. Added a couple more links to Smokin' Links. Also added The Red Lamp, a picture story done Her Way.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1997
I've been hard at work this past week and a half, working on a new series within Heartless's Holey Haven: Smokin' Hotties - Lust Her Way! Yes, if I could do my XXX-rated video, here's what I'd come up with. Also, I introduce the unforgettable Ms. Bunny who graces each page. See Searchin' For Smoke, Smokin' My Way, The Smokin' Reqs, and Smokin' A to Z Scenarios. Unfortunately, my Smokin' Links page is still a little light, but have no fear. I will search my buns off lookin' for those smokin' links. Hey, it's a dirty job . . .
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 1997
Updated my Muchas Gracias page. I've been given Tigergirl's Web Goddess Award, HerSalon's MonAward for Excellence, and my very own Woody. Really. Also gratifying to see my Soul Searching pages featured in Shift Online and The Net's Blue Pages. Muchas gracias, WebHeads!
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1997
Straight from Heartless's Holey Haven: you can now sign up to be a Heartless Hole and get HHH's holey developments delivered fresh to your inbox. How? Just say hole.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1997
In Rants, Raves, and Reflections, I added my first rant today, The Valley. You can also see my collage, The Valley, in My Art-Collages.
Turned September's Fresh Developments out to the Not So Fresh pasture.
Today starts November's Stupid Penis Tricks Contest. See a real turkey!
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All Text And Images Copyright © 1997 by L. Michelle Johnson.